Dear friends,
Our work with refugees is all about transition. Every one of our friends is in transit: always between here and there, between what was and what will be, between “who I was” and “who I will be.”
That’s why we’ve worked to create enduring relationships with and among our friends. One way we’re doing this is to gather friends who’ve resettled in other part of Europe for “reunions.”
Here are a few of the needs and aspirations that we’ve heard from our friends in these visits:
They regularly experience loneliness and depression
They feel they have few or no friends, and struggle to connect with friends from the past
They struggle alone to integrate and navigate the different systems in their new country
Having little time or resources to navigate grief and trauma healing
They desire a safe place to have discussions and ask their “big questions” about life
They need to remember the habits of self-care and community they learned in Athens so they can better carry that to their new environment.
They need help to find welcoming local people to connect with.
Here’s how you can help ignite hope for these young women lost in transit...
First, pray:
for these girls and their continuing journey of finding their home in their new country...that they will connect and integrate with their new communities...that Jesus would touch their hearts with his love...
for us as we plan more reunions for 2025, including considering opportunities for you to be part of the reunions
that our friends will increasingly come to understand and value the community without borders that is available to them – the community of Jesus followers.
Second, partner with us in volunteer and financial support as we expand our online communication with them and plan for ongoing reunions throughout Europe next summer.
Read on to hear more about our 2024 reunions and one-on-one visits.
Our first reunion last fall took place in the idyllic village of Adelboden, Switzerland. We are so thankful for the support of our Swiss coworker Sina, her father, and other locals who made it magnificent!
When the girls arrived, there was joyful, chaotic screaming, crying, laughing and hugging. Many saw friends for the first time in 2, 3 or even 4 years. The girls set off to claim their bunks as the nostalgic aroma of food cooking brought back memories of meals the girls had together back in Greece. Thanks to our great kitchen team: Sina’s father and a kind Swiss lady.
After devouring delicious fajitas, the small group had no problem filling the big house with laughter and energy. We spent the evening playing games, including Avalon (like “Mafia”)-- a long-time art class favorite. What followed was a proper sleepover-style late-night reunion with all the goofy giggles and chatting.
The next morning, we got up too early (for Afghan and Greek standards, not Swiss!) for a big hike.
The trail followed a dramatic ascent, and together everyone made it to the top without giving up! Sina and other Swiss volunteers moved through the group with encouragement, and we were all rewarded with a spectacular waterfall, and a beautiful lush alpine meadow filled with cows and little cottages surrounded by the towering peaks.
The hills were alive with the sound of Farsi party music as the group literally danced their way up and down the mountain (drawing curious stares from Swiss families).
During our picnic at the top, we played a game in which each person must draw a random question ranging from funny (tell us about a weird dream you’ve had) to profound (what is freedom) or both (tell us about your ideal boyfriend/spouse). The girls love it, and it’s a good chance to practice openness, listening and respect.
The next morning, we had a more relaxed program involving a smaller hike and going to a swimming pool, topped off by a barbeque outside in the forest. Henk shared his experience of leaving Ivory Coast as a child and the difficulties of not saying goodbye, which many of the girls could relate to. We also had the chance to hear from Sina and a Swiss-Iranian friend about the challenges of building life in a new country and culture.
How do we cope with the ongoing effects of the trauma and grief, while trying to pick ourselves up and build our life?
That evening, our dance party was cut short at 10 pm by the strict Swiss quiet hours, but the girls were happy to spend the evening in contemplative mode, decorating their teacups.
Our last day we still had room for some quality time together, but overall we felt that the 4 days had passed too quickly. The biggest question on everyone’s mind was - when can we have another reunion? For two of the girls this opportunity came very quickly, as they were able to join us for the next reunion in Germany!
We had just a few days to recover, take the train to Germany, pick up our next borrowed car and another box full of Ikea teacups, and head to the next reunion location. This time we did the whole thing with a group of nearly 25 girls! We may not have had the spectacular Alps as a backdrop, but the sunset dance party on top of a ruined castle tower wasn’t bad either. :) In answer to prayer, the weather held out, right until the last girl departed, but we enjoyed a cold rain shower while having our team debrief.
Besides giving them a chance to see each other, we also wanted to give them space to process their experiences of transition and integrating into a new society. Although some of the girls are doing very well at adapting to life in Germany, many are struggling with community, friendship and mental health. The topics of self-harm and suicide were regularly brought up.
Henk used the Transition Bridge to explain what healthy closure and goodbyes can look like, and to help the girls think through how their transitions in life have been.
Many had not been able to prepare or have good closure: "We left my home suddenly and I was not at all prepared for how difficult it would be".
For some, they’ve had to leave so many times they feel like the steps don’t apply to them: "I've never belonged anywhere so I don't need it now. I've never needed to go through the steps of the transition bridge." One of the girls shared that she keeps trying to climb back onto the bridge, to compose herself, to pour herself into work and study, but then she falls back in the water of chaos and overwhelming emotion.
“I am light”
There was also hope: "I have so many heavy things weighing on my gut, at school, work and learning language. But now I saw friends I never thought I'd see again, and I have new friends, I learned so many things, I felt peace and now my mind is calm, my soul is free and I have joy in my gut. I am light."
Unfortunately, time was too short to go deeper into mental health, grieving, and finding resources to help moving forward: However, we have a foundation and inspiration for future reunions like these.
““I’ve had very bad times, I didn’t want to live, but these days now I understand that God is who I can trust. I have to believe in him because he is all I have. I made a mess of everything, I have no dreams, no hope, but somehow all these things are still coming together, somehow they work out good, and I find a way that opens for me, and I think that God must care.” ”
Thank you for your care and your support!
- Allie & Henk